LOVE YOURSELF ~ STAY JUICY!
ARE YOU FINDING IT DIFFICULT TO FIND THE RIGHT PERSON TO LOVE YOU?
Have you found yourself trying to meet someone special only to be disappointed and hurt time after time? Does this make you think there aren’t any decent guys or ladies out there? You could be a big part of the reason no one viable has shown up in your life yet. Believe it!
We literally attract to us what we believe we deserve and need, and so many of our thoughts and beliefs are not even conscious. Your behavior and attitudes always contribute to your outcomes. This could be something you haven’t realized yet. Life has a way of putting experiences and people in our faces that are intended to help us learn and evolve into more integrated whole people. When you look back at the past relationships that have caused you pain and suffering, do you see any patterns? Consider the behaviors of these past partners. How did they treat you? What kinds of messages did their behavior toward you send you about yourself? Are you the kind of person someone really wonderful would find just as wonderful back?
You can only attract to you someone who is vibrationally a match. If you are critical and judgmental, naturally you will get that behavior from others around you. So the first step is to do an objective analysis about what you bring to a relationship.
If you can’t be objective about yourself, and who really can, ask someone you trust to give you real feedback. If you hear negative traits named, instead of getting upset, think about how you might be coming off that way and what you can do to change this behavior. Remember that no one is perfect but if you have aspects of your personality that might be pushing others away, this would be a great time to work on these aspects.
The other huge factor that might be getting in your way is a lack of self-love and self-acceptance. If you don’t really love and accept yourself, it will be difficult for someone to love and accept you. This is because your behavior will push the person away in some form or another, often without you even realizing you’re doing this or why. Someone who is loving and self-accepting will be interested in another person who holds those same traits.
Being able to receive love can be a challenge if no one in your life has given you positive regard and complimented you on your strengths and efforts. You’re a grown up now. The good news is that you can compliment yourself. Find opportunities to give yourself credit for good deeds and jobs well done. If you aren’t doing any good deeds, that might be part of the problem. The more you open up to helping others, the better your life gets. When you are kind and generous, the same comes back to you. Where can you volunteer your help? If you have no free time, what else can you do that will benefit others?
So many people feel they have a big empty hole inside them that they are waiting for a “true love” to fill. The truth about those big holes is that nothing outside of ourselves can heal them. That gap inside must be healed by beginning an effort of self-introspection, increased positive self-talk and doing esteemable acts that make you feel proud of yourself.
Start your morning with the thought that this is going to be a great day, because every day you get to wake up and experience life is a great day. Get in the shower and thank God for the hot running water, the fact that you have indoor plumbing and a roof over your head when so many don’t have any of these luxuries. I’ve found the more grateful I am, the better my life goes. Adopting an Attitude of Gratitude can have amazing impacts on every aspect of your life. If you experiment with this, you will find out how much better you will feel. I find myself stopping to thank God for so many things now, it’s almost like being in a continual state of gratitude, and the blessings keep on coming.
Self-love has nothing to do with selfishness. You are simply loving yourself as a creation of God and allowing the limitless blessings and goodness to find you when you are grateful for all that you do have and for who you are. Attitude is truly everything. In every moment, you can grumble about what you don’t like or be glad for what you do. The happier and more content you become with what life currently offers you, the more you will begin to experience additional blessings, which could include someone who has the same orientation you do and is looking for a partner to share their life with.
Coming to a relationship filled with self-love means you will have enough to share. That sense of contentment and balance is very attractive to others.
These are some ways to begin showing others the respect and caring you would like for yourself. When you practice these ten ways of loving others, your life will begin to smooth out in many ways and you will begin to feel better about yourself. Changing your behavior and attitude are key ways to increase your positive self-feelings, thereby increasing your self-approval and self-regard. Do this long enough and you will see what a loveable person you really are. So will others
No matter what life has thrown at you in the past, you can turn everything around. It’s never too late to become the person you were meant to be.
So try this formula of gratitude and positive attitude and find out your destiny can be one of joy and contentment. And doing this will also help you…. ~ STAY JUICY!
Lorraine E. Castro, LMFT 