“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the   barriers within yourself that you have built against it.”

~ Rumi

Are you having fun yet? Not so much? It’s time to change that up. If you knew beyond a doubt that changing your thinking would change your life experiences, would you change your thinking? Of course, we all say. We just want to be happy. No matter how grumpy or nasty someone acts, underneath, they just want to be loved and be happy. The harder someone is to love, the more love they need. People like this, and most of the rest of us just don’t know how to make the choices that lead to happiness.

So how are we going to make the huge leap?

Have you determined what your life purpose is yet? This is critical to the experience of joy. We were all put on this Earth to be of service in some way. You needn’t be a doctor or teacher, whoever you are is necessary and needed. It’s about how you carry out your work. If you are dissatisfied, you won’t experience joy or even happiness.

Your life’s purpose is supported by joy whenever you are working on it or thinking about it. When you feel joy within relationships, it keeps those relationships alive, growing and exciting. When you lose the joy, misery and stagnation of the same relationships result. You’ve been there, right?

So the point is to do it differently so you get a different outcome.

Of all the emotions, joy has the highest energy vibration. Joy reminds us that we don’t need to suffer. We can fulfill our purpose, help ourselves and others and heal through the power of joy. To do this we have to stay positive and have faith that our desires will manifest into reality. This isn’t an overnight thing. It requires patience and focus, like all good things.

Everything you desire and pray for comes as a result of opening your heart, giving and receiving love. The more you allow yourself to love, the deeper and more meaningful your life will become. All that is Divine will support your actions in the interest of love and will ensure you are safe and protected.

Does this sound like I haven’t addressed the main issue of bringing in someone to love you and be loved by you? Oh, but this is the answer. The more you open your heart to love in general, the greater the likelihood that romantic love will find you as well.

Love is more than feeling our hearts flip and flutter. If you have a loving attitude toward everything and everyone, you will find love in every aspect of your life.

1. Spend time in nature. Feel how alive and present every living thing is, how it vibrates with life and beauty. Nature doesn’t get upset or feel unloved. When you allow yourself to connect with the naturalness of the wind, trees and all of nature, you can’t possibly feel anything but alive.

      “Beauty awakens the soul to act.”~ Dante

2. Forgive those who seem to have hurt you. Everybody does the best they can, including you. We are all trying to reconcile the challenges life throws at us with our ability to handle them. So you’ve done things you aren’t proud of. You and everyone else feels the exact same way. Forgive yourself and everyone else. The burden of blame and guilt is heavy. It doesn’t allow for the spacious feelings of love and peace.

“Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future.”~Paul Boese

3. Be loving with yourself. Whatever choices you’ve made in the past, whatever you regret, let it all go. Take every last morsel of guilt and remorse and let them fall away from your existence. Be gentle with yourself and everyone else. You and everyone else is a divine being, always loved and always protected. You can rest in that promise. Not saying you’ll always like what’s happening in your life. Try understanding that we weren’t born to have easy lives. We are here to understand our purpose and to find compassion for all. This is the right approach.

No one can see you as loveable until you love yourself. This isn’t ego based love because you have a great body or lots of money. True love stems from connection with your purpose and from remaining open-hearted. Do this for yourself and watch others recognize the beauty within you.

“Until you stop breathing, there’s more right with you than wrong with you.” ~ Jon Kabat-Zinn

4.  Do the inner work. If you don’t understand why someone is treating you a particular way, put yourself in their shoes. How do you look from their perspective? Every interaction requires at least two people’s participation. Are you clear about your own motivations? Becoming a conscious person who responds from the highest good takes work. Yet if not, you will walk through your life defensively and almost blindly unaware of the deeper meanings.

“We don’t see things as they are; we see things as we are.” ~ Anais Nin

“I say, follow your bliss and don’t be afraid, and doors will open where you didn’t know they were going to be.” ~ Joseph Campbell

5.  Recognize power struggles.  If you feel misunderstood, used or upset, perhaps you haven’t looked at the situation from the other’s point of view. You don’t have to agree with that person. You only need to have compassion for them and to try to understand their motivation.  A tug of war insures there will be a winner and a loser. No one wants to lose. If your relationships are struggles, how can anyone’s hearts be open to love?  Why play power games? Decide to listen to each other and you can open the door to creative solutions.

“Kindness in words creates confidence. Kindness in thinking creates profoundness. Kindness in giving creates love.” ~ Lao Tzu

6.  Let it all go. It’s time to stop pushing, struggling or forcing things to happen. Let go of your anger, unforgiveness and every other situation and emotion that is distancing you from peace and love. You need a loving environment in order to nurture love. Contrary to the illusion that you will be happy when you find love, you can only find real love when you are happy. Trust the Universe is on your side. When you allow Spirit to lead you, doors to creative solutions and outcomes beyond that which you can imagine will open.

“Peace is not won by those who fiercely guard their differences, but by those who with open minds and hearts seek out connections.”~ Katherine Paterson

And more than anything else, remember that every day is precious. Every day you wake up, you are being given a gift beyond measure. Have gratitude for what you have and remember that age is a function of your thinking and your beliefs. If you want to be active, alive and joyful during your stay here, you must make the choice to allow life to happen and to accept it with grace, gratitude and curiosity.


~ by Lorraine E. Castro on June 4, 2012.

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