DO YOU LOVE OR FEAR?~ STAY JUICY
There are only two ways to approach life. One approach is from a fear base and the other is from love. A fear based approach offers very few options. You have the choice of only three actions: Run, Hide or Fight. Doesn’t that sound appealing? What if you want to live and enjoy life instead. Most of us don’t realize all the doubts we have and the negative self-talk that goes on in our heads comes from having a fear based orientation to life. Actually, most of us come from fear. We have been socialized to fear everything along with believing we are powerless. You are extremely powerful. You just need to work on remembering this.
Now consider the other approach. Having a love orientation means you approach life with open curiosity, enjoy your experiences, nurture yourself and others and generally enjoy life. If you are interested in switching your orientation, it takes a daily effort because change is a process. There isn’t a magic fix or a one time exercise that turns your thinking around. But there are many ways you can learn to be happy, to enjoy your life and to reach daily fulfilment. Here are some of those way:
1. Listen to the voice within– Your intuitive voice is always going to tell you the truth. If you listen to what you are genuinely feeling, rather than what your intellect tells you, the choices you make will lead you toward what is best for you.
2. Believe in yourself– If you don’t believe you are capable of attracting exactly what you need into your life, how would you expect this to happen? You have so much talent and goodness to add to the world. Every single person is a unique divinely wrought soul, put on Earth to be fully who they are. Find out who you truly are by exploring within.
3. Stay present– This is one of the most important paths to happiness. When we spend our time regretting the past or feeling the pain of past disappointments, we are robbing ourselves of the chance to be happy. Right in this moment, there is nothing wrong. Look around you. Find something to be amazed by, entertained by or simply grateful for. If you spend most of your time in the past, you aren’t seeing the blessings you have right now.
4. Be grateful– Do you realize 90% of the world doesn’t have hot running water or even enough clean water to drink? You were born in a country that is flawed, but still offers the greatest opportunities for ease of life. There will always be someone else with more “stuff”. Don’t waste your envy on them. Research shows that wealth does not equate to happiness. Sure, it would be great to have more money to pay your bills. But the important things in life really can’t be bought. be grateful for who you are and treasure your intrinsic inner riches.
5. Wake up and adjust your attitude– If you stay in bed an extra minute or two making your decision to have a good day, you will. Your attitude has everything to do with your experience. If you recognize everything that happens to you is for your highest good, you will embrace your experiences, rather than fear them.
6. Start off your day with a smile– There’s that attitude thing again. If you walk out the door with a smile anticipating your day, you are more likely to have a good one. If you start your day in dread, there’s no way you will be objective about what happens from then on. You have the power to set your day in motion with your attitude. Don’t believe that? Try it.
7. Be kind to others– Everyone else on the planet is trying to find their way just like you. Cut people slack. Go out of your way to be helpful and kind. The more you change your orientation toward one of service to others, the faster your life will turn around. The secret is that when you are thinking of others, you get out of your own problems. The more you are of service, the happier you will become. Every act you do that is estimable, adds to your self-esteem.
8. Appreciate others– Do you show appreciation for the people in your life, the folks you work with and your friends? The more you express your gratitude and appreciation of others, the more positively they will see you and respond to you. Tell people what you like about them every opportunity you get. Let others know how much you care for them and appreciate them being in your life all the time. Don’t wait until their birthday to get them a card or to drop a note of appreciation. The more you practice this, the happier you will be.
9. Try a gratitude-attitude adjustment– The more grateful you are about everything the happier and more positive your life will become. Just like the fear/love choice, gratitude for what you have brings in more to be grateful for. This is a guaranteed path toward greater happiness and peace of mind.
10. Spend time with positive people– Who do you spend your time with? Are your friends positive or do they spend their time complaining. Your environment is critical to your emotional well-being. Choose happy, positive friends and their well-being will rub off on you.
11. Listen to music– When you find yourself in fear, listen to music that lifts you up. Music is one of the best remedies for a bad attitude or unhappiness. Music transforms and lifts us from our negativity when it’s the kind of music that is beautiful or just something you personally resonate with. We all have music that we love. Find out what works for you.
12. Be kind to yourself– Beating yourself up never solves anything. We all make mistakes but we do this so we can learn. Accept your past experiences as lessons on planet Earth and learn from them. If you keep making the same mistakes repeatedly, examine your belief system. You must challenge your beliefs to change your experiences. You are worthy of happiness. You are a divine soul.
13. Learn patience– We run around impatient for everything to happen, not trusting what we want will happen in the perfect time for us. If you push something to happen, you risk altering the natural flow of how it’s supposed to unfold. Learn to trust that everything is exactly as it should be. Things will change for you when you develop trust and patience. Then you will see the pattern in all things and realize the best action is patience.
14. Take care of yourself– know you are worthy of great health, loving relationships and a fulfilling life. Do whatever you need to do in order for these things to happen for you. Take your vitamins, drink lots of water, go for walks, spend time alone with yourself, and eat right. If you take care of your inner needs, you will be in a better position to handle the outside events of your life.
15. Pray– Your greatest gift is prayer. From a deep place within you, ask for guidance as to how you can change your life in a way that best serves you and others. Place your value on things that aren’t physical. A gorgeous house will never replace a loving relationship. Check your prayers and make certain you are asking for things that will enrich your life spiritually, rather than materially. “Money can’t buy me love” says the Beatles. They may have lots of it but they know the difference.
16. Value yourself– If you don’t think much of yourself, no one else will. Be proud of who you are and what you bring. If you haven’t discovered what that is yet, spend some time listing your assets. If you aren’t proud of how you operate in the world, change. You aren’t stuck with your history and it doesn’t have to define you. Every day is a new opportunity to be a better you.
And remember~ stay juicy!
Lorraine E. Castro, LMFT 