Looking Ahead
I don’t make resolutions as each New Year approaches. Putting words to a goal makes any hope of that goal materializing for me fatal. Instead, I leave things behind in the year that’s about to expire. Starting the last two weeks of the year, I seriously consider what behaviors I’ve been playing out since practically third grade that no longer serve me, and decide to drag them forward again or dump them. For instance, I used to look at people who had bigger/better things and felt less than them. What a retarded attitude to carry around! When I finally realized about five years ago how self-limiting jealousy was, I dropped that behavior immediately. After all, jealousy put me in a state of always wanting more, when I realized I was happier when I was being grateful for what I had. My life is full and rich and I failed to realize this because I lacked perspective. Sure, I’ve seen all the photos of starving children, yet it took working with people right here who have been devastated by life and really have so little, especially dreams, that slapped me in the face.
The funniest thing about that was as soon as the new year rolled around after I left jealously behind, I continually found more to be grateful for. Now, each New Year I can’t wait to dump the old reductive behaviors because in their place, I gain more peace of mind and appreciation for what is really the great stuff—- like a truly amazing relationship with a man with whom I share values, love and respect, and children and family I adore.
I am surprised at how effective deciding to leave behind a behavior or attitude, even a relationship that no longer works for me, turns out to be. Maybe the idea of having to work toward a goal all year sounds like too much, well, work. Maybe one brave dumping and a leap into a new year free of the baggage is the lazy way to do it but it works for me!
Anyway, I want to post more often. I am transitioning into my writer persona now and reading all the writer’s blogs. I’m learning a great deal. Hurray for social media!! Besides that, I’m on my own team now. I highly recommend this action. Being your own best friend, cheerleader and confidence builder is highly effective. You know yourself better than anyone else. Applaud your triumphs, even the small daily struggles you conquer. Let’s all have compassion first for ourselves and then for everyone else in the world.
Peace and love!
Lorraine E. Castro, LMFT 