GOT SELF-ESTEEM? ~ STAY JUICY!
WHAT IS SELF-ESTEEM ANYWAY AND WHY IS IT SO IMPORTANT?
Having self-esteem means having confidence in your own worth and abilities; having self-respect, dignity, and faith in yourself. This has to come from within yourself, from a strong sense of liking who you are and feeling okay with all your experiences, even the difficult ones, for the lessons they have taught you.
Do you have pride in yourself and your accomplishments? Navigating life is a huge accomplishment that many don’t give themselves credit for. It doesn’t matter what your life looks like to anyone else. What matters is how you feel about your own choices. Can you feel good about yourself no matter what anyone else may say or think about you?
SELF-ESTEEM IS THE UNDERPINNING OF ALL SUCCESS YOU HAVE IN LIFE
Regardless of your history, your childhood, your school performance or any other factor in your life, you have a choice every day to believe in yourself and to do your best. We can’t change the past. We actually need to realize that whatever happened in our pasts, what we do about our lives today and every next day is totally up to us. Sure, things happen to us that seem out of our control like losing a job or ending a relationship. These are external factors. They should not have any effect on who you are inside; your intrinsic inner self. These are temporary situations that will change as your life continues on.
What happens to the CEO or other leaders when they retire or lose their titles? Often depression and a sense of great loss happens to people who allow an external factor like a job title or position define them. Power of a sorts may come with leadership roles but the true power lies within each of us. The greatest power is self-mastery and living life authentically. We all have the power to decide how we will react to what happens to us. Will we be the victim of our lives or victorious because of the hardships we’ve experienced and the persons we are as a result of those experiences?
Relationships and job titles don’t define you. When you have a strong core of belief in yourself and your ability to recover and go on, nothing can stop you from succeeding. Too often we look for confirmation of our worthiness in someone else’s eyes. No one knows us as well as we can know ourselves. No one can love us any more than we love ourselves. When we decide to create our own inner happiness, we become more lovable to others. Happiness is a choice regardless of what’s going on because it’s a decision. Every day we have the option to look at our lives and situations with an attitude of gratitude for what we have, or we can choose to focus on what we don’t have.
Unfortunately we all fall prey to the socialization we receive from our culture and influences that makes us feel less than others based on superficial and materialistic factors like how we look and what we have. Just hang out at your local elementary school and watch the playground politics at work. Even those little guys are making decisions about friendships and acting in ways that mimic the same insecurities or beliefs you hold. It’s time to rethink and rebel. Don’t kick yourself just because you’re stuck in where you’ve been socially indoctrinated to be. Rethink your options and choose to be free of the oppressive influence of other’s opinions of you or anyone/anything. You have the right to be uniquely and authentically you. Get out there and amaze yourself at how wonderful you are when you can live from a place of gratitude and humility for your life. You will make mistakes but so what? If you never try you can bet you’ll never get anywhere. Be scared and try anyway. Life is a great adventure. Find out for yourself.
Self-esteem comes from an inner decision to accept ourselves, and to be kind and gentle with ourselves. If you find yourself being critical of others, it’s directly a clue that you are self-critical. When you accept yourself, you don’t care what anyone else chooses because you know how freeing it is to be okay with your life and your choices.
Lose the shackles of self-judgment and self-criticism and realize you are exactly as you are supposed to be and loveable because you are you. Only you hold the power to unchain yourself from your perceived limitations and to embrace your wonderful uniqueness. I say “Power to the People” to recognize their own beauty and holiness.
Love yourself and everyone else and you will overflow with self-esteem ~ STAY JUICY!
Lorraine E. Castro, LMFT 