Lorraine E. Castro, LMFT

Thoreau said “There must be the generating force of love behind every effort destined to be successful.”

This couldn’t be truer. If every effort you make that has the intention of loving service to others, you will generate success for you. What have you accomplished in your life that has satisfied you most and filled your soul? If you think about the events and accomplishments you are most proud of, they were probably motivated by love. This could have been the love of a sport, a hobby, a job, anything. You could have put that extra effort into something that made your parents proud when you were younger. As an adult, the loving effort you put into your relationships will gain you good friends and rewarding experiences. The essence of love lies beneath every successful action. Love is a strong motivator.

Christ said that love is the key and the way. The answer to everything is when you come from love, you get the best outcomes.

What you might consider is that the greatest of this love must be for yourself. If that sounds like I’m advocating egotistical self-absorption, I need to explain.

YOU REALLY CAN DO THESE THINGS BY LOVING YOURSELF FIRST:

1.    YOU REALLY CAN LOVE SOMEONE ELSE BETTER BECAUSE YOU LOVE YOURSELF ~

When you love yourself, you enjoy being with yourself and you enjoy being with other people. They in turn are drawn to you because you are good company. You listen well and have helpful advice if asked. Because people feel how nonjudgmentally you give advice, they flock to you. They know you want to be helpful because you know that loving advice is only given when requested from another. You are okay with your decisions and have no problem with people not agreeing with you. It’s really freeing to love yourself. You don’t agonize over what others will think of you, or worry about being judged.

When people have gratitude for the help you’ve given them, the energy of their gratitude actually flows back to you. Gratitude has a top note of love and can fill your heart. Another person’s gratitude for your help or kind words is a way for grace to come to you. We are all here to help one another. Imagine how appealing you are when this is your orientation. Everyone will appreciate you and seek you out.  Since you are such a remarkable person, someone just as remarkable will be attracted to you because they also understand what living a loving life means and they are thrilled to find someone else who understands this too.

Both of you know that the source of all love is limitless and unrestricted. You support each other’s growth and changes that need to be made for both of your good. You gladly listen and help others and your relationship can only flourish and bloom.

2.     YOU REALLY CAN EXPERIENCE LASTING HAPPINESS ~

Happiness is something that comes from within you. When you are content with what you have, knowing that most of the world has so much less, you live in a state of gratitude. You realize the basics are really all anyone ever needs.

You are grateful for clean water, the air you breathe and the bountiful food of the Earth. You value yourself for what you bring to the table in terms of your efforts and actions focused on the greatest good. You inspire each other to be better people and your love for each other abounds.

Life has many challenges. An extremely great challenge is understanding that every last one of your experiences is inevitable as part of the human condition. We are attending classes in Earth school and hardship is one of the biggest lesson we learn from. Without contrast, we can’t grow. We have to know what we don’t want, to realize what we do.

Everyone falters on the steps of their lessons. Some of these lessons can be painful and even feel devastating. Disappointments and losses are all part of these lessons. When you love yourself, you are gentle with yourself and everyone else. You show yourself and everyone else the mercy of forgiveness. You realize everyone makes mistakes and needs to be forgiven.

Forgiveness sets you free. You realize painful situations are mostly the result of people not loving themselves and not acting in loving ways.  Every last person you see is suffering. It’s the human condition and how we grow. You forgive everyone for everything. You know everyone does their best. Some people are seriously disturbed or wounded and they are doing the best they can too. You try your best to be loving in nonjudgmental ways, and your life flows along harmoniously.

3.     SMALL IRRITANTS DON’T KEEP YOU FROM PEACE OF MIND ~

Life happens and someone cuts you off on the freeway, your boss is a pompous fool (or worse), and you’re feeling life isn’t fair. That’s right. Life isn’t fair. Life is what you make it. When you remember that you cut cars off too, have acted in snarky ways (or worse), and been unfair to others, then, you start having perspective. Put yourself in other people’s shoes in order to gain their perspective or you’ll never realize how they might be feeling or thinking.

When you have perspective, you decide you don’t really want to ruin the rest of your day by focusing on the negative. Even though the guy not only cut you off but flipped you off too, don’t let this experience define how your day goes. That’s giving the guy who upset you already once, the power to keep upsetting you. It’s like giving your worse enemy free rent in your brain indefinitely. How many people and events are hogging all the space in your brain? Why are you allowing painful memories reinjure you? Your body doesn’t know the difference between a real incident and your thoughts. You keep causing yourself pain each time your remember a past hurt.

When you can let it all go, you are freed from the inclination to stay unhappy. When you can let the injuries, insults and betrayals go, you get to have peace of mind instead. You have brain space and energy to focus, to make better decisions and to be present in the moment, the only thing we ever have.

Best of all, you get to actually see what your day is bringing to you. Staying in a state of anger makes you miss lots of great opportunities to be amazed and amused by life.

4.   YOU CAN HAVE LASTING HAPPINESS ~

When you love yourself, you allow your life to be an adventure. You welcome meeting new people because everyone has something to teach you. Every time you need to make a decision, practically something you do all day long, you come from a generous loving place.

People respect you and seek you out. You can physically feel the esteem and high regard in which other people hold you. Their gratitude helps attract rewarding experiences to you. Opportunities for abundance in many forms present themselves to you as you enjoy each day for its unique experiences.

Are there experiences that are still making you unhappy long after they have ended? Do you understand what price holding on to these hurtful experiences have on your peace of mind? Forgive yourself for everything you’ve done and decide to make better choices.

Remember the fastest way to happiness is to love yourself and everyone else. That means that you forgive them and yourself for everything. What a relief! Along with that comes the blessings of good emotional and physical health and a fulfilling life. More ways to ~ STAY JUICY!

~ by Lorraine E. Castro on August 10, 2012.

Posted in ENJOY YOUR LIFE!, HOW TO HAPPY!, LIFE AFIRMING CHOICES, Uncategorized, ~ STAY JUICY!
Tags: All you need is love, attitude is everything, create a happy life, happiness, live from your heart, love yourself, Stay Juicy!, Wish you were happier?