Lorraine E. Castro, LMFT

Life can be a real challenge unless you understand the rules. We are taught from the time we are born that the rules are something external to ourselves. Certainly we have to obey traffic laws, harm no one and follow the general guidelines required for an orderly society. There’s no getting around this. But what rules we really need are not the things anyone ever teaches us, with rare exceptions.

I am talking about how to navigate this unweildy process called “Life”. If you really want to have ease and comfort, you must have trust that everything you experience is exactly perfect for you, even the difficult times. You co-created this script prior to your birth. You knew which challenges you wanted to face, how many betrayals you wanted to navigate, yet when they show up, since you don’t remember signing on for the experience, you feel hurt and betrayed. We all do this.

There’s a way to get through these experiences with more ease, and that has to do with surrendering to the betrayal or whatever else is challenging in your life. If you have the faith that everything happens for the highest good of your soul, you can pay attention to the dynamics. Instead of feeling like a victim of the circumstances, you can learn from them. We are all trying to learn how to be successful adults. Mastering the challenges you are faced with help you become smoother, more fluid, in flow.

Flow is the state of being where you allow everything to happen, rather than kicking and screaming along the way. We are all control freaks. We need to feel like we are in control or we don’t feel safe. Actually, we are always in control because we are the only ones who ultimately decide whether we are going to play along in a drama or not. Usually we get involved because we think we need to defend ourselves or react to what’s being thrown at us. All we really have to do is decide not to play.

 Remember, when any part of you refuses to take responsibility for everything about you, you are allowing someone else to run that part . Whoever this someone is, they get to set the tone of your emotions. They get to decide whether you are happy or sad, anticipatory or defeated. They get to do this because you are giving them permission to project at you anything they desire, no matter how untrue. You will either accept your own individual truth, which may differ greatly from theirs, or you will agree with something untrue about you. It comes down to this choice: In every moment of life, you will either take your power or you will give it away.Each time you give your power away, you diminish your choices, your possible outcomes and you increase your separation from joy.

What do you choose for your life today?

~ by Lorraine E. Castro on November 20, 2007.

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